FinDom Fumbles: The Top 3 Errors New Doms Make

So, you’ve decided to dip your toes into the fascinating world of financial domination! Maybe you’ve heard stories of expensive gifts, loyal submissives, or waking up to a surprise $1,000 tribute. Maybe you’re enticed by the allure of being in control of someone else’s finances (who could blame you?). But before you dive headfirst into the deep end, it can be helpful to know about some of the most common mistakes new dominants make when interacting with finsubs (financial submissives). Let’s shed some light on these pitfalls and learn how to navigate them like a pro.

1. Buying into Myths

First things first: let’s bust some myths wide open. Contrary to popular belief, not every finsub is a millionaire or a high-roller. Yes, some may have substantial disposable income, but many are just regular folks with a kink for financial submission. So, if you’re expecting your inbox to overflow with offers to pay your rent or buy you a luxury car right off the bat, you might want to adjust your expectations.

Another myth that needs debunking is the idea that financial domination is easy money. Sure, the potential for incredible financial gain is there, but it takes time, effort, and a solid understanding of money kink and client dynamics. There have been an influx of findoms flooding the industry over the past few years, so simply saying “Send now” is unlikely to create a sustainable flood of tributes. Attracting your best matched finsubs doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen! You can (and will) receive impressive tributes, but give yourself some grace if it doesn’t happen all at once.

Remember, successful findom is about more than just demanding to drain wallets; it’s about power exchange, erotic persuasion, and empowerment through kink (yes, seriously!).

So, instead of chasing after findom fairy tales that inevitably fall flat, learn about the psychology of findom (which I teach about in my FinDom Philosophy Virtual Intensive happening next week!) so you can create financial domination scenes that fit your submissives’ desires. This will help you build authentic and exciting connections with your current or potential finsub and keep them coming back for more.

If you’re new to findom, it’s easy to get swept up in the allure of quick cash and extravagant gifts. But taking the time to educate yourself can save you a lot of disappointment and frustration.

2. Trying to Fit a Stereotype

In the world of financial domination, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Yet, many newcomers fall into the trap of trying to emulate a stereotypical FinDom persona they’ve seen online. Whether it’s the cold-hearted goddess or the bratty princess, attempting to fit into a predefined mold can feel forced and insincere.

The truth is, like with any kink, authenticity is key to success. Even though you’re creating a persona, it should be based on some aspect of the real you, not some caricature of what you think a dominant should be. So, instead of putting on an insincere performance, embrace your own unique style and personality.

Are you naturally nurturing and caring? Channel that energy into being a compassionate Dom who nurtures your submissives’ desires while still maintaining control and making demands. Do you have a wicked sense of humor? Use it to playfully torment and tease your subs while you drain their wallets.

Ultimately, being true to yourself will attract the right kind of submissives who are drawn to you for who you are and will make it an easier and more enjoyable experience for you. It’s one thing to make it an exaggerated version of a part of who you are—but quite another to make it based on who you think you should be. If your self-expression doesn’t come from an authentic part of yourself, it will feel stiff and artificial. Plus, it’s much less likely to be successful!

Remember, at its best, financial domination is a form of self-expression for everyone involved. It should feel liberating! Embrace your individuality, and let your personality shine through. Authenticity is magnetic, and it will draw in the right kind of subs who resonate with your vibe.

3. Taking Responsibility for the Submissive’s Choices

One of the most common mistakes new (and frankly, even experienced) findoms make is assuming responsibility for their subs’ financial decisions. Yes, you may have influence over how they spend their money, and you control the amount and types of demands you make, but ultimately, the choice to indulge in financial submission lies with the sub.

You can prevent some conflict by establishing clear boundaries and expectations from the outset. Make it clear that financial domination is a consensual exchange between two adults, and both parties have a responsibility to communicate openly and honestly about their desires and limits.

Submissives CANNOT abdicate complete responsibility for themselves to the dominants that they play with (or are even in a relationship with). Even in a full power exchange, subs have responsibility for their own well-being and initiating communication when necessary.

It’s up to the finsub to take responsibility for their choices (and whether they’re honest about their financial situation). However, the dominant also has a role in co-creating a healthy findom dynamic. Practicing active and informed consent will create a positive findom dynamic and reduce your risks in terms of potential harassment or legal issues in the future.

You are not responsible for your submissives’ choices, so don’t let them guilt you! But if they’re acting in a way that’s clearly more risky than they can handle, it’s in everyone’s best interests to pause and have a conversation about resetting boundaries and limits before play resumes.

Navigating the world of findom can be both exhilarating and rewarding. Set yourself up for success by avoiding these common pitfalls and embracing your own unique dominant personality.