If you’re looking to deepen your understanding of kink and BDSM, reading books by kink experts can be a fantastic way to learn. Whether you’re new to the scene or a seasoned kinkster, there’s always something new to explore.

Here are some tips on how to use kink books to enhance your practice and knowledge.

Join a Kinky Book Club

Kinky book clubs are a great way to expose yourself to new literature while also connecting to a kinky community. If there aren’t any kinky book clubs in your area, consider starting your own or joining a virtual book club.

• Try Kinky Intellectuals Book Club on Fetlife

Book clubs offer structure, which can give you incentive to actually finish the books you start. You’re also likely to be exposed to books that you might not have picked up yourself. Maybe you’ll find that you’re intrigued by a certain kink that you never thought much of before!

Plus, discussing the books with others means you’re likely to hear diverse perspectives and insights from people with different experience levels and backgrounds from you. You’ll also have people to talk to when you have questions about what you’re reading.

Start a Kinky Memo Book

As you read, jot down notes—you’ll be glad you did! It’s easy to forget what we’ve read once we’re onto the next book. Consider setting aside a specific notebook or journal for your kinky book notes, or use my kinky book review page (linked below). This will become a quick reference guide for when you want to apply your new kinky knowledge later.

When taking notes, focus on the following:

• Important concepts: Make a note of any new techniques, safety practices, or interesting ideas.
• Personal reactions: Write down your initial thoughts and feelings as you read. This can help you process and integrate the material into your own practice.
• Questions: If something isn’t clear, note it down. This will help to remind you to ask a partner, friend, or educator about it, or do some online research.

Making the space for yourself to intentionally reflect on what you’re reading will ensure that you’re not just passively consuming information but actively integrating it into your kink life.

Sign up for my email newsletter to get instant access to my free, printable Kink Book Review page.

Chat Up a Friend or Partner

Discuss what you’re reading with someone in your life who is curious to learn more about kink. It’s ideal if they want to read the same book(s) you’re reading, but as long as you’re interested in their opinion (and they’re interested in yours), there is plenty of potential for provocative discourse.

Here are a few tips for talking about kinky books:

• Share insights: Start by talking about your key takeaways from the book. This can help you notice what stood out to you and process what you read.
• Debate concepts: Engaging in friendly debates can challenge you to consider different ways of looking at what you read and help you to figure out what you really think of it. Maybe things will get heated in more ways than one!
• Apply ideas: Did you read anything that you want to use in your kinky life? Discuss how you’d like to implement new techniques or ideas into your kink play.

Set Kinky Goals

Use your kinky reading as inspiration for enhancing your kink journey. Whether it’s mastering a new technique, exploring a kink you haven’t tried before, or improving communication with your partner(s), setting goals can help you to get what you want out of kink.

Kinky goal examples:

• Practice a new bondage knot at least once a week
• Experiment with degrading dirty talk
• Schedule a weekly kink date with a partner

Cross-reference with Classes, Videos, and Forums

Kink books are a fantastic starting point, but they’re by no means the only resource available! Cross-referencing what you read with other materials—such as workshops, online forums, or videos—can provide a more well-rounded understanding.

For example, if a book introduces a particular technique, you might look for videos or tutorials that demonstrate it. Online forums and communities can also be a good place to discuss your experiences and ask questions among other kinky explorers.

Check out KinkAcademy.com for more than 2,000 videos from over 150 kink and sex educators on a huge range of topics covering kink, BDSM, and adventurous sex.

Take it Into the Bedroom!

Reading about kink is one thing, but putting that knowledge into practice is where the real growth happens. As you learn new techniques or ideas, think about how you might want to incorporate them into your practice.

If you’re exploring with a partner, be sure to communicate clearly about exactly what you’re hoping to do and how you’re hoping to do it. Do your research about the risks involved and learn any necessary skills before you dive in. Consent and safety are paramount when experimenting with new kink play (and all the time!).

Stay Curious

The world of kink is vast and educational resources are continually evolving. Exploring new books and resources will ensure that you’re always learning and trying new and exciting things.

By making the most of the amazing kink books and other resources that have been created by kink educators, you can turn your reading into a powerful tool for growth in your kink journey.